"Yeah yeah, you feel like crap...but nothing's wrong with you, here's an antidepressant..."

Oh doctors...you are so wise, so all-knowing.  I should never question you, and I should put 100% faith into your textbook medical degree, because we all know you're smarter than me (obviously, because you paid $100K for a degree and "applied" yourself for 3 times as many years in school than I chose to), and  of course, you know my body better than I do.  I vow to stay off the internet and to quit diagnosing myself through WebMD (even though its written from the same textbooks you used...).  I should not challenge you or ask questions when I disagree with you, because "I just don't want to hear the truth....".  I will go ahead and pop your antidepressant, because really all of my symptoms point to depression, especially since my lab work continuously comes back "normal", therefore depression is the ONLY answer.  Never mind the C-Reactive Protein levels being through the roof, never mind TPO levels being high either, and never mind my sonogram shows my thyroid is enlarged and inflamed, but not "really anything to be concerned about at this point".  Depression it is.  Thanks, I will leave now with my prescription and follow up in a year. 

In the meantime, I will flounder at work and be forced to take a demotion and pay cut because I can't concentrate, can't remember details, and can't get through the day without a nap.  I will alienate my husband, child, friends, and family because even simple tasks such as vacuuming, balancing the checkbook,  playing with my child, or going to dinner create such bone numbing fatigue that I'm in bed by 7:30 every evening.  I will get lost on a street that I've driven everyday for the past 10 years, because suddenly I have such a brain fog that it feels like I'm either drunk, or I'm looking through a window with Crisco smeared on it.   I'll stop exercising, and start wearing a wrist and elbow brace because I have extreme bone and joint pain that makes my hands swell to the point where I sometimes can't even hold a pen to write with.  I hurt, I'm tired, and I'm cranky.  I'm not dying...no...but I'm not really living either.

And nothings wrong with me, eh? I have been to 6 specialists in two years, and they all concur, nothing is wrong.  Ooooooooook. Maybe I AM crazy!

But no...In the back of my mind I was 100% convinced that it was my thyroid that was causing all my problems.  It was just a matter of convincing a doctor as well. Then I found this website (and a few others like it)...turns out, I'm not alone! HALLELUJAH!!!  I'm going to reference this website a lot, because they speak more eloquently on the subject matter than I do - I was now an official member of the "Undiagnosed Club"  http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/

The Undiagnosed Club

Membership quota: a global mass of medically-duped individuals
Dues: increasing symptoms of hypothyroidism paid in full
Length of membership: a few years leading into decades for some
Mottos: “Your TSH is normal. It’s not your thyroid.” “You need to eat less, exercise more.” “Everyone needs to nap” “You need to see a therapist.” “Your problems are due to being a mom/stress/genetics/your job.” “Here’s a script for your anti-depressant/statin/blood pressure med/psychotropic.” “Your hair loss is due to being a mom/stress/genetics.” “It’s just Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/fibromyalgia” “I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”
Sound at all familiar?
Enlightened thyroid patients all over the world report going years while coping with the pesky flies of hypothyroid symptoms, sans a diagnosis. And it’s all because of the inane and lousy TSH lab test (below left) with its dubious “normal” range, or the doctor’s failure to notice clinical presentation of the cluster of hypothyroid symptoms rather than simply an ink spot on a piece of paper which can mean squat.
As years go by without a diagnosis, the adrenals can take the hit trying to keep you afloat, resulting in high or low cortisol symptoms including anxiety, fear, difficulty coping, sleep problems, not waking up refreshed and other symptoms of an adrenal beating.

...BONUS  - I was left untreated for so long that my adrenals are now burned out as well!

I made friends with people in the chat rooms who are going through the same hell.  I always thought it was weird to befriend a complete stranger, but these people became someone to confide in who has been there, because at this point everyone else in my life is getting annoyed with my complaints. (Like I said in the last post "What the Hell is wrong with you?!")  New chat buddies who "get" it are comforting? Yes....  but comfort doesn't always replace a good doctor...

I tried acupuncture.  I liked it, if for anything I got a prescribed a 30 minute relaxation nap in a dark room with nice music once a week.  However, after a few months of weekly sessions, I still wasn't feeling better, and at $35 a session, there had to be a point where I moved along. 

I also tried massage for the joint pain - again - felt great while I was there, but no real lasting effects.

As mentioned earlier, I went to 6 doctors - Endocrinologist (x2), Rheumatologist, 2 GP's and my Gynecologist.  Of all people, my gyno was the most supportive....go figure! . 

After months of running around to doctors I sort of gave up. Guess getting older sucks. I'm 30 now...this is the way its going to be. I'll just make sure I get lots of sleep, and start eating better.  Ryan and I decided we were going to try for another baby - after all, I was "healthy", and it shouldn't be a problem.....right? So I got off the pill...

To be continued...