Wow! I haven't posted anything since 9/11!!! That's what happens when you have a crazy ass job, and a bajillion things going on every single day of your life....Fortunately for us, my motto is "If you're bored, you're doing it wrong", or, "If you're bored, you're boring"...therefore, the Creedens are absolutely living life in the most correct way possible, and we are totally awesome while doing it!...that being said - we have some catching up to do!
This is ultimately a healthy living and adoption blog - not much to say on the healthy living side right now except I'm feeling pretty good, have a follow up with my endocrinologist on Friday and I'm finally going to get tested for rheumatoid arthritis while I'm there. Pretty sure I'll develop it someday, but hopefully not now! I have a ganglion cyst on my wrist that's pretty painful, but I don't think its RA related, so lets cross our fingers for a negative test.
As for the adoption - OH ME, OH MY! WHERE DO I BEGIN?!!! So much has happened since the last update, I'm afraid my words will spill out like a big ol' jumbled mess, but I'm going to try to get it out anyway. May take me a few days, but here goes:
Update #1 - We finally turned in all of our preliminary paperwork (questionnaires, references, background checks, etc) and had our home study with our social worker the last week of September. We were nervous for no reason at all, as one fellow adoptive parent friend called it "anti climatic". Judy came over and our little welcome wagon Jillian took her by the hand and showed us all over our house, including her play set in the backyard where Judy proceeded to step in a big ol' dookie, courtesy of wiener dog. I was devastated, but Judy took it in stride and laughed at my mortification. We then sat down and just talked about ourselves for an hour. How we met, how we resolve conflict, what our daily routine is like, etc. When Judy left, we were like, "that's it?!". I just really think that social workers are special people with an ESP for creepiness. I really think the whole point of the home study was so she could come over and see what vibe she got off of us - was it an immediate ick factor, or did she feel safe and homey here? I think we passed the test! A few days later I went to Judy's house for my individual interview, and then Ryan did his interview over the phone. If Jillian was a little older, I'm sure she would've had an interview too, but I think they became very acquainted during the home visit when Jillian showed Judy her Tinkerbell bedroom and had her read a princess story sitting on her bed - they're pretty much besties now.
Earlier in the day, I explained to Jillian that we had a special friend coming over to look at our house to talk to us. I told her that it was a lady who was going to help us bring home a new baby brother or sister. I explained to her that no more babies can live in mommy's tummy, so we were going to bring home a baby that was already born and needs a nice family. I asked her how she felt about that and she fell silent. I asked her - does it make you sad? No. does it make you happy? No. Does it make you scared? Yes. I told her, "well honey, it scares me too, but we are going to do great!" Then I was a little worried - oh crap! it's too early to talk about it to her, she doesn't understand, its not a concept she can follow yet.....
but then we got to school and she sat in the office with me for a little while before going to class. She was very quiet as she was coloring, but then she came up to me and had a picture that she described as "our family"....there was a picture of mommy (the tallest, because mommy is in charge, BAHAHAHA! I cannot tell you how in love with this I am!!!), then a picture of Jillian, a picture of daddy, and a picture of "my baby brother, with the spiky hair"....my heart melted and I would've burst into tears if it wouldn't have been for the 45 preschool parents walking through the door at that moment. She had listened to our conversation, she had processed it, and even though she was scared, she accepted it. That afternoon she welcomed Judy with open arms into our house. Since then, I do not bring up the topic of her baby brother directly to her, but we also do not censor ourselves around her. We talk openly about it and I think she is absorbing the info as we go along. She will ask questions and bring it up on her own terms. Just yesterday, she found an Elmo potty training book that we haven't read in a while and she said "I'm a big girl and don't potty the bed anymore. But I'm going to give it to my baby brother because he needs it, and I like Elmo". She is quite possibly the sweetest, most with-it 4 year old I have ever met. Things like this let me know that we are on the right track, and everything will be A-OK.
Put a Bubble in Your Mouth...
Showing posts with label Korea or Bust: The Path to Bringing Home Our Newest Family Member. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Korea or Bust: The Path to Bringing Home Our Newest Family Member. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
That dead tree in the back yard was probably the one the money grew on...
I'm having cash flow anxiety with this adoption! Ryan and I have been very fortunate in our 5 years of marriage to not always have to worry about where the bacon is coming from...
That hasn't always been the case, however. When we first got married we were in collective credit card debt to the tune of about $17k. It sucked, it was scary, and it was NOT an awesome way to start out married life. We did some re-managing, refinanced Ryan's house (now MY house too) and were able to pay off all of our debts, and keep them away for good, and we have impeccable credit to show for it. We undoubtedly know how blessed we are to both have good, stable careers, and to have amazing health insurance through Ryan's company. Make no mistake though, we have WORKED OUR ASSES OFF to remain financially stable. It's not easy, and we've cut things out over the years to be able to have the things we really want (I don't really like cable tv that much anyway...and Ryan LOVVVES driving a beat up old Ford pickup with no AC, especially THIS summer - but its totally worth it to be able to take that yearly trip to Florida!)
Suddenly though, I find us at a crossroads of - we'll be ok, to HOLY SHIT WE'RE GOING TO BE IN THE POOR HOUSE! Adoption is freaking expensive y'all, and I'm not sure how we're going to cover it.
Here is breakdown of the costs:
$300 application fee
$52 per person fingerprinting fees
$2500-$2900 Adoption Home Study fee
(remember all that paperwork? someone has to process it...)
$20,215 Korea Program Placement fee
(Korean children basically live in the Waldorf-Astoria until they are adopted...its one of the reasons we picked the program. You will not find 14 babies crammed in one crib in a sad looking orphanage like you see on Dateline in Korea...these kids are well taken care of! It's a perk to know your child is getting amazing care...but you pay dearly for it)
$500 Parent Escort Service Fee
(Holt-Korea charges a Parent Escort Service Fee of $500 for parents who choose to travel to Seoul to escort their own child home. We DEFINITELY need an escort! I don't know how to speak Korean and pretty sure I'd end up in Timbuktu if I tried to navigate the train system by myself. Plus, we have to go to Korean court...I definitely need help with that!)
Post placement Fee $1,200 - $1,400
(There will be follow-up visits with your social worker and reports for the overseas office. This is required by foreign countries and offers families an opportunity to receive support while the child and family are adjusting to each other. The same agency provides both the adoption study and post placement services)
Unknown $$ - TRAVEL TO KOREA
(1 plane ticket could cost $800-$3k, depending on the time of year we get called to travel. Cross your fingers its not December! that is the biggest holiday travel time for Koreans. I want to be able to have me, Ryan, and Jillian travel. But really only one adult has to go. I really don't think I could bear going alone, or even going without Jilly. I feel its important for her to be there and be a part of it)
Other Expenses to Anticipate
Additional expenses which are paid to various service providers. Including:
I want to throw up just thinking about it. We could get a loan, but no bank right now is giving $30k worth of loans with less than 10% interest. We could get a 0% credit card, but the adoption agency wants cold, hard cash. There are grants and things available for adoption, but so far we have not found one we qualify for. Most of them are if you are devout Christians, Jewish, adopting a child with special needs, or if you are Korean-American adopting a Korean baby. We have not been able to find anything special for just regular people wanting to adopt a healthy baby. We can expect about a $13k tax refund from the government when the adoption is complete...but that law is always changing, and who knows what it will be by the time everything is final for us. We cannot count on that as an absolute.
Its quite discouraging. I feel like we do everything right, but keep getting pushed back down. We're financially responsible, but we're going to go into debt over this. That is hard to swallow, especially since we work so hard to stay OUT of debt. We have savings, but don't want to drain entire bank accounts either...
I try very hard to be extremely healthy - eat right, exercise, don't eat fast food, don't smoke, etc, but yet my body won't allow me to have another biological child. If I were having a total pity party here, then I would say that the universe is throwing out all the signs that we should just be happy with the one child we have.
But... I'm not a quitter and I never back down. I always find a way to get what I want. We'll figure this out...
let me get out my little change bucket...
That hasn't always been the case, however. When we first got married we were in collective credit card debt to the tune of about $17k. It sucked, it was scary, and it was NOT an awesome way to start out married life. We did some re-managing, refinanced Ryan's house (now MY house too) and were able to pay off all of our debts, and keep them away for good, and we have impeccable credit to show for it. We undoubtedly know how blessed we are to both have good, stable careers, and to have amazing health insurance through Ryan's company. Make no mistake though, we have WORKED OUR ASSES OFF to remain financially stable. It's not easy, and we've cut things out over the years to be able to have the things we really want (I don't really like cable tv that much anyway...and Ryan LOVVVES driving a beat up old Ford pickup with no AC, especially THIS summer - but its totally worth it to be able to take that yearly trip to Florida!)
Suddenly though, I find us at a crossroads of - we'll be ok, to HOLY SHIT WE'RE GOING TO BE IN THE POOR HOUSE! Adoption is freaking expensive y'all, and I'm not sure how we're going to cover it.
Here is breakdown of the costs:
$300 application fee
$52 per person fingerprinting fees
$2500-$2900 Adoption Home Study fee
(remember all that paperwork? someone has to process it...)
$20,215 Korea Program Placement fee
(Korean children basically live in the Waldorf-Astoria until they are adopted...its one of the reasons we picked the program. You will not find 14 babies crammed in one crib in a sad looking orphanage like you see on Dateline in Korea...these kids are well taken care of! It's a perk to know your child is getting amazing care...but you pay dearly for it)
$500 Parent Escort Service Fee
(Holt-Korea charges a Parent Escort Service Fee of $500 for parents who choose to travel to Seoul to escort their own child home. We DEFINITELY need an escort! I don't know how to speak Korean and pretty sure I'd end up in Timbuktu if I tried to navigate the train system by myself. Plus, we have to go to Korean court...I definitely need help with that!)
Post placement Fee $1,200 - $1,400
(There will be follow-up visits with your social worker and reports for the overseas office. This is required by foreign countries and offers families an opportunity to receive support while the child and family are adjusting to each other. The same agency provides both the adoption study and post placement services)
Unknown $$ - TRAVEL TO KOREA
(1 plane ticket could cost $800-$3k, depending on the time of year we get called to travel. Cross your fingers its not December! that is the biggest holiday travel time for Koreans. I want to be able to have me, Ryan, and Jillian travel. But really only one adult has to go. I really don't think I could bear going alone, or even going without Jilly. I feel its important for her to be there and be a part of it)
Other Expenses to Anticipate
Additional expenses which are paid to various service providers. Including:
- Obtaining copies of legal documents
- Finger printing
- Visa filing fee
- Medical exams
- Travel expenses
- Phone calls to Holt
- Postage
- Legal adoption
I want to throw up just thinking about it. We could get a loan, but no bank right now is giving $30k worth of loans with less than 10% interest. We could get a 0% credit card, but the adoption agency wants cold, hard cash. There are grants and things available for adoption, but so far we have not found one we qualify for. Most of them are if you are devout Christians, Jewish, adopting a child with special needs, or if you are Korean-American adopting a Korean baby. We have not been able to find anything special for just regular people wanting to adopt a healthy baby. We can expect about a $13k tax refund from the government when the adoption is complete...but that law is always changing, and who knows what it will be by the time everything is final for us. We cannot count on that as an absolute.
Its quite discouraging. I feel like we do everything right, but keep getting pushed back down. We're financially responsible, but we're going to go into debt over this. That is hard to swallow, especially since we work so hard to stay OUT of debt. We have savings, but don't want to drain entire bank accounts either...
I try very hard to be extremely healthy - eat right, exercise, don't eat fast food, don't smoke, etc, but yet my body won't allow me to have another biological child. If I were having a total pity party here, then I would say that the universe is throwing out all the signs that we should just be happy with the one child we have.
But... I'm not a quitter and I never back down. I always find a way to get what I want. We'll figure this out...
let me get out my little change bucket...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
To support International Adoption - you must also support deforestization = HOLY PAPERWORK BATMAN!!!
The paperwork. is. exhausting! When we first met with our social worker, she warned us that we would be knee deep in it. However, she also said that if we were organized people then it would be tolerable. At that point, Ryan and I did a mental high five, because if you didn't know this about me already - I pride myself on being highly efficient and organized
(however, DO NOT look at my desk at work...THAT is a perfect example of organized chaos!...but it makes sense to me. I'm not bragging - I just learned very early on how to keep my shiz together - how do you think I had a 4.0 in HS and a 3.9 in college?! It's not because I'm particularly smart or anything...I also really, really enjoy office supplies! I think I'm the only one who gets excited about hi-liters and binder tabs!)
So Ryan and I were like, WE GOT THIS! (or, Erin has this, rather) Then the packets started rolling in...ooooh, wait. Holy Cow! We haven't even started our home study yet! This is just pre-home study stuff. A lot of it takes what seems like FOREVER (I told you I wasn't good at waiting!) because we are relying on and waiting on other people to fill out their portions (If you also don't know this about me - I sometimes would rather just do things myself!!)
I think this is all pretty standard for ALL adoptions, even domestic - but we've never done it before, so it's new (and somewhat daunting)
So far, this is what is in process:
*Initial Application - this was about 6 pages (more on this later)
*Holt International Contract - this was about 6 pages of legal stuff that we had to agree to and get notarized
*4 separate Non-Family Referrals, at about 4 pages of questions each (BIG thank you to the friends we chose to fill these out!) I took a look at one of them and there are some difficult questions on there. Thanks guys! we owe you one!
*1 family reference - haven't seen it, but I think its probably the same length as the non-family references
*Financial Statement - One page spreadsheet outlining every single dime we have to our name. Let's rub it in how much this is REALLY going to cost!
*PIP Training Paperwork - there will be more on this later. We missed this month's training, so we have to wait until the fall for the next session. It is an 8 hour training on a Saturday that goes over adoption issues and how to handle them. It is also where you meet other adoptive parents and make contacts throughout the agency. I'm looking forward to it!
*Pregnancy Policy - if I get pregnant then all bets are off, I have to sign saying I know that
*Corporal Punishment Policy - We have to agree to never spank our kids
*Medical - All three of us have to have complete physicals, and then also have our doctors write letters saying that we are pillars of health and that we are fit enough to be parents. Some countries have pretty strict requirements - such as, in China - you cannot adopt if you have been on antidepressants within the past two years. Or - in other countries, you cannot adopt if your BMI is over 25!!! I get why they do that, but come on! My BMI is like a 23! and I consider myself pretty(fairly) fit! I am interested to see what they say about my Hashimoto's...my endo. wrote a pretty nice letter (she is from China herself, so she is intrigued by our adoption stories) so I'm hoping it won't be too big of an issue
*Background Checks - Fingerprinting, Sex Offender Registry, and MO/KS State checks, and a Fed Check.....update: got the results back, and we are not criminals!!!! HAHA!
Personal Data - this is about 20 pages, and Ryan and I have to each fill one out. It asks everything from - "what would change about your own childhood?" to, "what do you like most/least about your spouse"....it is some pretty thought provoking stuff! I've changed my answers AT LEAST 3 times each!
*Employment Verifications - gotta prove we have jobs to pay for this!!!
One thing I find particularly fascinating about all of this is the fact of how easy it was to have a biological baby. I spent a lovely evening with my husband, waited 9 months, went to the hospital, and 5 days later they sent me home with a baby - NO. QUESTIONS. ASKED. They were more concerned with trying to sell me the newborn photos and birth announcements than they were with making sure I was ready to take home a living person!
I completely understand why the adoption process is so involved, and I would question it if it were any easier. But now I'm questioning why its so easy for anyone to just pop out a biological kid? There are some really dumb people out there who don't deserve to be parents!!! it's not a right...it's a privilege. I've said it before - you have to have a license to drive, you have to have a license to catch a damn FISH! but any ol' idiot can become a parent!
*sigh*
oh, another thing we had to send them was a family picture! Here is the one we chose...look how cute we are! Won't a little Korean baby look beautiful sitting in our laps too?! LOVE!
(however, DO NOT look at my desk at work...THAT is a perfect example of organized chaos!...but it makes sense to me. I'm not bragging - I just learned very early on how to keep my shiz together - how do you think I had a 4.0 in HS and a 3.9 in college?! It's not because I'm particularly smart or anything...I also really, really enjoy office supplies! I think I'm the only one who gets excited about hi-liters and binder tabs!)
So Ryan and I were like, WE GOT THIS! (or, Erin has this, rather) Then the packets started rolling in...ooooh, wait. Holy Cow! We haven't even started our home study yet! This is just pre-home study stuff. A lot of it takes what seems like FOREVER (I told you I wasn't good at waiting!) because we are relying on and waiting on other people to fill out their portions (If you also don't know this about me - I sometimes would rather just do things myself!!)
I think this is all pretty standard for ALL adoptions, even domestic - but we've never done it before, so it's new (and somewhat daunting)
So far, this is what is in process:
*Initial Application - this was about 6 pages (more on this later)
*Holt International Contract - this was about 6 pages of legal stuff that we had to agree to and get notarized
*4 separate Non-Family Referrals, at about 4 pages of questions each (BIG thank you to the friends we chose to fill these out!) I took a look at one of them and there are some difficult questions on there. Thanks guys! we owe you one!
*1 family reference - haven't seen it, but I think its probably the same length as the non-family references
*Financial Statement - One page spreadsheet outlining every single dime we have to our name. Let's rub it in how much this is REALLY going to cost!
*PIP Training Paperwork - there will be more on this later. We missed this month's training, so we have to wait until the fall for the next session. It is an 8 hour training on a Saturday that goes over adoption issues and how to handle them. It is also where you meet other adoptive parents and make contacts throughout the agency. I'm looking forward to it!
*Pregnancy Policy - if I get pregnant then all bets are off, I have to sign saying I know that
*Corporal Punishment Policy - We have to agree to never spank our kids
*Medical - All three of us have to have complete physicals, and then also have our doctors write letters saying that we are pillars of health and that we are fit enough to be parents. Some countries have pretty strict requirements - such as, in China - you cannot adopt if you have been on antidepressants within the past two years. Or - in other countries, you cannot adopt if your BMI is over 25!!! I get why they do that, but come on! My BMI is like a 23! and I consider myself pretty(fairly) fit! I am interested to see what they say about my Hashimoto's...my endo. wrote a pretty nice letter (she is from China herself, so she is intrigued by our adoption stories) so I'm hoping it won't be too big of an issue
*Background Checks - Fingerprinting, Sex Offender Registry, and MO/KS State checks, and a Fed Check.....update: got the results back, and we are not criminals!!!! HAHA!
Personal Data - this is about 20 pages, and Ryan and I have to each fill one out. It asks everything from - "what would change about your own childhood?" to, "what do you like most/least about your spouse"....it is some pretty thought provoking stuff! I've changed my answers AT LEAST 3 times each!
*Employment Verifications - gotta prove we have jobs to pay for this!!!
One thing I find particularly fascinating about all of this is the fact of how easy it was to have a biological baby. I spent a lovely evening with my husband, waited 9 months, went to the hospital, and 5 days later they sent me home with a baby - NO. QUESTIONS. ASKED. They were more concerned with trying to sell me the newborn photos and birth announcements than they were with making sure I was ready to take home a living person!
I completely understand why the adoption process is so involved, and I would question it if it were any easier. But now I'm questioning why its so easy for anyone to just pop out a biological kid? There are some really dumb people out there who don't deserve to be parents!!! it's not a right...it's a privilege. I've said it before - you have to have a license to drive, you have to have a license to catch a damn FISH! but any ol' idiot can become a parent!
*sigh*
oh, another thing we had to send them was a family picture! Here is the one we chose...look how cute we are! Won't a little Korean baby look beautiful sitting in our laps too?! LOVE!
About Korean Adoption...straight from the people who invented it
So, I don't know yet what we can "legally" share with others according to our contract with our adoption agency. I know there are some industry practices and insider information that they like to keep to themselves and that they don't want shared via the internets or blogs (They ACUTALLY have an "internet police" that surfs websites searching for information...if we violate this policy then we can be terminated from our contract! they mean business!!!) We will learn more what the stipulations are when we attend our PIP (Parents in Progress) training. For now though, because I have had questions from others about it - I will share what is directly posted on our agency's website:
http://www.holtinternational.org/
http://www.holtinternational.org/
A Legacy of Love in Korea
Holt’s legacy began in Korea when Harry and Bertha Holt adopted eight beautiful children in 1955. The Holt’s understood that children need families more than anything else, and they could not forget the thousands of children who remained in orphanages. In 1956 the Holts established an adoption program in Korea.
Today Holt International Children’s Services in the United States and Holt Children’s Services of Korea continue as partner agencies assisting the homeless children of Korea, until they can go home to loving, permanent families.
Holt’s foster care program in Korea is an international model for loving, temporary care of children. In addition Holt has an extensive array of programs such as a world-class center for the care and development of disabled children, a highly developed post adoption services program and Heritage Tours for adoptees and their families.
Holt International has over 50 years experience placing approximately 60,000 children from Korea with adoptive families in the US.
• Children are young, many of them infants.
• All of the children live in foster homes, not orphanages
• Excellent medical and social information available.
• Experienced staff both in the US and Korea who respond to the needs of children and families.
South KoreaThe Need The Korean War ended with the signing of an armistice in 1953, splitting the peninsula along a demilitarized zone and leaving, in its wake, many orphaned and vulnerable children. The war also devastated the Korean economy, causing widespread poverty. Unable to provide for their children, many families saw international adoption as a way to give them a better life – a belief shared by many unwed Korean mothers who, fearing the stigma of out-of-wedlock birth, chose to relinquish their children. Also facing a lifetime of discrimination were the many mixed-race children born during the war to Korean mothers and American GI fathers. For these children, international adoption often seemed preferable to a life of poverty and prejudice.
Beginning in the 1960s, South Korea experienced rapid economic and social change, emerging during the last decades of the century as one of the “Tigers of Asia.” As the nation grew more prosperous, so grew the role of the Korean people and government in the welfare of their children, including greater cultural acceptance of domestic adoption.
Traditional Confucian values, which place great emphasis on bloodline, nevertheless remain entrenched in Korean culture. Although more unwed mothers are choosing to parent their child, discrimination makes life extremely difficult for them. For many Korean children, social stigmas still create barriers to having a permanent, loving family within their birth culture.
Holt’s History in South Korea Moved by images he saw of malnourished war orphans, Harry Holt embarked on an historic voyage to South Korea in 1955. That year Harry and his wife, Bertha, urged an act of Congress enabling them to adopt eight Korean children, generating considerable media coverage and public interest in international adoption. Guided by Christian faith, the Holts quickly returned to Korea on a mission to unite every homeless child with a permanent, loving family in the U.S. They established the Holt Adoption Program in 1956, enabling thousands of children to be nourished to health and placed for adoption in the ensuing years.
Concerned about the children who weren’t adopted, especially those with profound medical and developmental conditions, the Holts built a long-term care facility near the village of Ilsan in 1961. The Ilsan Center has since become a world-renowned residential facility specializing in the care of people with disabilities.
Holt developed its philosophy of care in Korea – a philosophy of affectionate, attentive care to nurture children’s growth and development while they await permanent placement. In 1965, Holt introduced a foster care program founded on this philosophy. In this more family-like alternative to an institution, children thrive in the loving embrace of trained foster parents. Holt proceeded to replicate this model of care in countries we serve throughout the world.
Holt broadened its reach in later years, establishing community centers to serve low-income families in several Korean cities. Here, families receive free meals and medical check-ups, as well as opportunities to gain employment and other life skills. Holt also founded the Family Welfare Research Center, providing a forum for collaborative research on social welfare.
In the 1970s, Holt Children’s Services of Korea (Holt Korea) became a legally separate entity from Holt International. They now serve children and families in Korea as two separate but closely tied organizations.
Current Projects Since 1955, over 150,000 Korean children have joined families through international adoption. As adoptees grew to adulthood, many expressed the need for continuing support, such as counseling and assistance with birth searches. To meet this growing need, Holt began offering these post-adoption services, as well as adoptee summer camps and motherland tours – enabling adoptees to explore identity and adoption issues as well as connect with fellow adoptees.
Nearly all of the children who need families in Korea have been relinquished by their birth mothers, most of whom choose to keep their identities secret due to the social stigma of unwed motherhood. Children entrusted to Holt are placed in expert, loving foster homes prior to their adoption. Approximately 600 children are in care at any one time, most of whom wait an average of 11 months before joining permanent families. In the first five months in care, Holt Korea seeks families to adopt domestically, enabling the child to stay within his or her birth culture. Korea, in fact, requires a 5-month waiting period before a child may be placed for ICA.
Child sponsorship helps fund foster care, child care facilities and support for the residents of the Ilsan Center, which continues to demonstrate model care for people with disabilities. Ilsan provides short and long-term rehabilitation and medical care; apartment-style group homes overseen by housemothers; vocational training, such as pottery and sewing; and a K-12 school for children with special needs, including those living outside of Ilsan. Many Ilsan graduates hold jobs at the center or find employment in nearby factories and farms. They often marry and have families of their own.
To prevent child abandonment, Holt Korea began counseling expectant mothers and unmarried couples. Through guidance and support, Holt empowers them to decide whether to parent or relinquish their child. Many of the women who decide to parent stay for one year at one of seven unwed mothers’ homes throughout the country, receiving community housing, nutrition, support and skill development. If a mother decides not to parent, Holt provides her with additional counseling and post-natal care, and places the child for domestic adoption.
Strategic Directions As the country where our mission began, Korea holds great significance to Holt. Our role in Korea is, however, shifting. As national birthrates have declined over the past decade, fewer and fewer children are entering Holt care. And with greater acceptance and occurrence of domestic adoption, the profile of child available for ICA has changed. More healthy infants are finding homes within Korea. Children who now require ICA to have a permanent family frequently have some degree of special need.
Holt has adapted well to the changing landscape of international adoption, successfully recruiting families for children with special needs. But with the overall need for ICA diminishing, the Korean Government has considered bringing an end to the regular process. To maintain a viable adoption program should the regular process end, Holt is advocating for ICA to continue for children with special needs, as well as by Korean-American families – a placement option many consider equal to domestic adoption.
As the overall rate of ICA declines, our role as an adoption service provider will also diminish. But as a child service organization, our purpose in Korea will become more critical. In the coming years, we will help Holt Korea expand the scope of their work – looking beyond ICA to provide broader child and family welfare services through partnerships with local governments, social welfare agencies, educational institutions and hospitals.
Holt Korea’s services will not only expand, but also shift with the dynamics of Korean society, including increasing support for immigrant, guest worker and multi-cultural children and families. As more single mothers choose to parent their children, Holt Korea will provide greater shelter capacity and programs for single parents.
Holt Korea has also undertaken the complete renovation of the Holt Ilsan Center – a five-year project that will require significant fundraising. Holt will strive to underwrite the Ilsan project, work to expand the number of sponsored children, and explore new donor opportunities to support growing child welfare work in Korea.
This document is available as a PDF. Click here.
• All of the children live in foster homes, not orphanages
• Excellent medical and social information available.
• Experienced staff both in the US and Korea who respond to the needs of children and families.
South KoreaThe Need The Korean War ended with the signing of an armistice in 1953, splitting the peninsula along a demilitarized zone and leaving, in its wake, many orphaned and vulnerable children. The war also devastated the Korean economy, causing widespread poverty. Unable to provide for their children, many families saw international adoption as a way to give them a better life – a belief shared by many unwed Korean mothers who, fearing the stigma of out-of-wedlock birth, chose to relinquish their children. Also facing a lifetime of discrimination were the many mixed-race children born during the war to Korean mothers and American GI fathers. For these children, international adoption often seemed preferable to a life of poverty and prejudice.
Beginning in the 1960s, South Korea experienced rapid economic and social change, emerging during the last decades of the century as one of the “Tigers of Asia.” As the nation grew more prosperous, so grew the role of the Korean people and government in the welfare of their children, including greater cultural acceptance of domestic adoption.
Traditional Confucian values, which place great emphasis on bloodline, nevertheless remain entrenched in Korean culture. Although more unwed mothers are choosing to parent their child, discrimination makes life extremely difficult for them. For many Korean children, social stigmas still create barriers to having a permanent, loving family within their birth culture.
Holt’s History in South Korea Moved by images he saw of malnourished war orphans, Harry Holt embarked on an historic voyage to South Korea in 1955. That year Harry and his wife, Bertha, urged an act of Congress enabling them to adopt eight Korean children, generating considerable media coverage and public interest in international adoption. Guided by Christian faith, the Holts quickly returned to Korea on a mission to unite every homeless child with a permanent, loving family in the U.S. They established the Holt Adoption Program in 1956, enabling thousands of children to be nourished to health and placed for adoption in the ensuing years.
Concerned about the children who weren’t adopted, especially those with profound medical and developmental conditions, the Holts built a long-term care facility near the village of Ilsan in 1961. The Ilsan Center has since become a world-renowned residential facility specializing in the care of people with disabilities.
Holt developed its philosophy of care in Korea – a philosophy of affectionate, attentive care to nurture children’s growth and development while they await permanent placement. In 1965, Holt introduced a foster care program founded on this philosophy. In this more family-like alternative to an institution, children thrive in the loving embrace of trained foster parents. Holt proceeded to replicate this model of care in countries we serve throughout the world.
Holt broadened its reach in later years, establishing community centers to serve low-income families in several Korean cities. Here, families receive free meals and medical check-ups, as well as opportunities to gain employment and other life skills. Holt also founded the Family Welfare Research Center, providing a forum for collaborative research on social welfare.
In the 1970s, Holt Children’s Services of Korea (Holt Korea) became a legally separate entity from Holt International. They now serve children and families in Korea as two separate but closely tied organizations.
Current Projects Since 1955, over 150,000 Korean children have joined families through international adoption. As adoptees grew to adulthood, many expressed the need for continuing support, such as counseling and assistance with birth searches. To meet this growing need, Holt began offering these post-adoption services, as well as adoptee summer camps and motherland tours – enabling adoptees to explore identity and adoption issues as well as connect with fellow adoptees.
Nearly all of the children who need families in Korea have been relinquished by their birth mothers, most of whom choose to keep their identities secret due to the social stigma of unwed motherhood. Children entrusted to Holt are placed in expert, loving foster homes prior to their adoption. Approximately 600 children are in care at any one time, most of whom wait an average of 11 months before joining permanent families. In the first five months in care, Holt Korea seeks families to adopt domestically, enabling the child to stay within his or her birth culture. Korea, in fact, requires a 5-month waiting period before a child may be placed for ICA.
Child sponsorship helps fund foster care, child care facilities and support for the residents of the Ilsan Center, which continues to demonstrate model care for people with disabilities. Ilsan provides short and long-term rehabilitation and medical care; apartment-style group homes overseen by housemothers; vocational training, such as pottery and sewing; and a K-12 school for children with special needs, including those living outside of Ilsan. Many Ilsan graduates hold jobs at the center or find employment in nearby factories and farms. They often marry and have families of their own.
To prevent child abandonment, Holt Korea began counseling expectant mothers and unmarried couples. Through guidance and support, Holt empowers them to decide whether to parent or relinquish their child. Many of the women who decide to parent stay for one year at one of seven unwed mothers’ homes throughout the country, receiving community housing, nutrition, support and skill development. If a mother decides not to parent, Holt provides her with additional counseling and post-natal care, and places the child for domestic adoption.
Strategic Directions As the country where our mission began, Korea holds great significance to Holt. Our role in Korea is, however, shifting. As national birthrates have declined over the past decade, fewer and fewer children are entering Holt care. And with greater acceptance and occurrence of domestic adoption, the profile of child available for ICA has changed. More healthy infants are finding homes within Korea. Children who now require ICA to have a permanent family frequently have some degree of special need.
Holt has adapted well to the changing landscape of international adoption, successfully recruiting families for children with special needs. But with the overall need for ICA diminishing, the Korean Government has considered bringing an end to the regular process. To maintain a viable adoption program should the regular process end, Holt is advocating for ICA to continue for children with special needs, as well as by Korean-American families – a placement option many consider equal to domestic adoption.
As the overall rate of ICA declines, our role as an adoption service provider will also diminish. But as a child service organization, our purpose in Korea will become more critical. In the coming years, we will help Holt Korea expand the scope of their work – looking beyond ICA to provide broader child and family welfare services through partnerships with local governments, social welfare agencies, educational institutions and hospitals.
Holt Korea’s services will not only expand, but also shift with the dynamics of Korean society, including increasing support for immigrant, guest worker and multi-cultural children and families. As more single mothers choose to parent their children, Holt Korea will provide greater shelter capacity and programs for single parents.
Holt Korea has also undertaken the complete renovation of the Holt Ilsan Center – a five-year project that will require significant fundraising. Holt will strive to underwrite the Ilsan project, work to expand the number of sponsored children, and explore new donor opportunities to support growing child welfare work in Korea.
This document is available as a PDF. Click here.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Let's Learn a Lesson about Love and Acceptance from the "Dino Train"
One day, right after we put in the adoption application, I was having some major doubts...
then this came on the tv and Jillian knew the lyrics and was singing with them, and I really listened to the words. I burst into tears and knew in my heart that we are doing the right thing. I haven't looked back since. Please watch it and read the lyrics. It is so sweet and endearing, and so what I want our little family to be all about!
I'm getting a little *verklempt* all over again watching it right now...
Dinosaur Train
Once upon a time there was a mom
Her name was Mrs. Pteranodon
Sittin’ on her nest she heard a stratchin’ and said
“Oh boy! My eggs are hatchin’”
Her name was Mrs. Pteranodon
Sittin’ on her nest she heard a stratchin’ and said
“Oh boy! My eggs are hatchin’”
One by one her kids popped free
baby Pteranodons one, two, three
“I’ll name you Tiny, Shiny, and Don”
But Tiny said “Wait, there’s one more, Mom”
baby Pteranodons one, two, three
“I’ll name you Tiny, Shiny, and Don”
But Tiny said “Wait, there’s one more, Mom”
Last little baby was a different size with teeth and a tail and big green eyes
He didn’t look anything like the rest
“What am I doin’ in a Pteranodon nest”
He didn’t look anything like the rest
“What am I doin’ in a Pteranodon nest”
But dear old Mrs. Pteranodon said
“Oh this is your family and I’m your mom
you may be different, but we’re all creatures,
all dinosaurs have different features
Come on Buddy, we’ll take a vacation
I’ll get us some tickets at Pteranodon station
We’ll travel the world through sunshine and rain
And meet all the species on the…”
you may be different, but we’re all creatures,
all dinosaurs have different features
Come on Buddy, we’ll take a vacation
I’ll get us some tickets at Pteranodon station
We’ll travel the world through sunshine and rain
And meet all the species on the…”
Dinosaur train, dinosaur train, dinosaur train, dinosaur train
We’re gonna ride, ride ride ride…
[Choo Choo]
ROAR!
We’re gonna ride, ride ride ride…
[Choo Choo]
ROAR!
On to Bigger and (MUCH)Better things!
Ok, so I have to admit, this blog was never intended to a be a big ol' pity party about all my health issues. Sure, they're a big part of my life, and they will continue to be for the rest of forever. I am really happy that people are reading it and maybe understanding a little more about me, and also finding out valuable information about some of their own issues they may be struggling with. I am especially happy that through reading my blog, people are understanding they can control their own health by making good decisions about food, and being their own best advocate. For that, the "oversharing" and "TMI" are totally worth it.
I found a new endocrinologist just about a month ago, and she *finally* prescribed me Armour (the medication I've wanted to be on this whole time). After a few weeks of an adjustment period, I'm feeling pretty good! Still learning, still researching...but overall, in a MUCH better place than I was in this time last year. I finally feel at at peace (mostly). I still have bad days, but the bad days are slowly starting to get outnumbered by the good ones.
It is at this time that I want to share what the true intention of this blog has always been -
I found a new endocrinologist just about a month ago, and she *finally* prescribed me Armour (the medication I've wanted to be on this whole time). After a few weeks of an adjustment period, I'm feeling pretty good! Still learning, still researching...but overall, in a MUCH better place than I was in this time last year. I finally feel at at peace (mostly). I still have bad days, but the bad days are slowly starting to get outnumbered by the good ones.
It is at this time that I want to share what the true intention of this blog has always been -
Ryan and I have put in an application to adopt a baby from Korea!!!
We got word the other day that our application had been accepted, and we have started the paperwork for the Home Study. It will be a fairly long process that will demand a lot of time, patience, (money), trust, and faith. A lot of things that I'm admittedly not very good at!
I felt like I needed to explain in previous posts why we chose to adopt. I'm having health issues. I probably could have another biological child with some risks, but after agonizing about the right decision and weighing the pros and cons of each (the Creedens don't do anything on the fly...everything is quite intentional and has a well crafted plan. I'm a "planner", what can I say? there are worse things to be...) we have come to the point where adoption makes the most sense for us. Ryan and I always talked about adoption, even before we were married. We always said that if we had the opportunity and means to do it, we would explore it as a serious option. Well, here we are, at a crossroads of what to do next. We have 3 options: be a happy family of 3, risk my health and a baby's health for another biological child, or adopt. We finally came to the conclusion that our family is not yet complete, but it is not worth it to further jeopardize my health. So what is left? ADOPTION!
I will get into the ins and outs of the whole process as things progress...I just really really wanted to make the big announcement!!! I can't keep secrets! I'm too excited to keep it to myself anymore! The whole reason for this blog was to have a real time journal of our experience. I'm also writing it as I know a lot of our friends and family will have a lot of questions along the way.
GET EXCITED PEOPLE! We certainly are!!!!
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